OVIS Youth Connect

Family and domestic violence is when someone repeatedly uses harmful or controlling behaviour to control, scare, intimidate, or hurt another person. It can happen in families, dating relationships, or other relationships where a person should feel safe and respected.

This can include coercive control, which is a pattern of ongoing behaviours used to make someone feel afraid, trapped, isolated, or like they have little or no control over their own life.

What can family and domestic violence look like?

Family and domestic violence can take many different forms, including:

• Physical violence – hitting, pushing, kicking, or physically hurting someone.
• Sexual violence – pressuring, forcing, or making someone do sexual things they do not want to do.
• Financial abuse – controlling someone’s money, bank account, or access to financial resources.
• Stalking or harassment – repeatedly following, watching, contacting, or threatening someone, including through phones, social media, or other online platforms.
• Online abuse – using technology or social media to threaten, control, embarrass, monitor, or intimidate someone.
• Isolation – stopping or discouraging someone from seeing or communicating with their friends, family, or support network.
• Emotional or psychological abuse – putting someone down, manipulating them, threatening them, or making them feel worthless, scared, or responsible for someone else’s behaviour.
• Spiritual abuse – using a person’s beliefs, culture, religion, or spirituality to control, manipulate, or harm them.
• Honour-based violence – using pressure, threats, control, or violence because someone is believed to have brought shame or dishonour to a family or community.

You might be:

• Seeing or hearing a parent, carer, or family member being hurt or abused.
• Having to look after your brothers, sisters, or parents after violence has happened.
• Feeling scared or unsafe at home.
• Not getting the care and support you need from your parents or carers.
• Being hurt, threatened, or abused yourself.
• Being asked to spy on family members or tell someone where they are or what they're doing.
• Someone threatening to take you away or hurt you.
• Being pressured to choose sides or turn against one of your parents or carers.
• One parent or carer using visits or custody arrangements to control or upset the other parent, even after they've separated.

If any of these things are happening, it's important to know that what you're experiencing isn't okay, and you deserve to feel safe.

We're here to listen and talk with you about what's been happening. Together, we can make a plan to help keep you safe.

If you need extra support, we can also connect you with other people and services that can help you and support you.

You can stay anonymous if you want to, which means you don't have to tell us your name.

If you do tell us who you are, we'll keep what you share as private as we can. The only time we may need to share information is if we're really worried about your safety or someone else's safety. If that happens, we'll explain why and let you know what we're doing.

Our team sometimes talks with each other about how to best support the young people we work with. This helps us make sure you're getting the best possible support.

We can't promise it will be different, but we can promise to listen, take you seriously, and do our best to understand what you're going through.

Sometimes it takes a few tries to find someone you feel comfortable talking to, and that's okay. If you connect with one of our practitioners, you can choose to talk with them more than once so you don't have to start over every time.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call the police on 000 straight away.

If you're experiencing family and domestic violence, there are things you can do to help keep yourself safe. Tell someone you trust like a family member or relative, a friend, teacher, coach, school counsellor or any other trusted adult.

If you're older and it's safe for you to do so, you can make a safety plan to help you feel more prepared.

These are some things you could do:

• Know where you can go if you need to get away from conflict, like a trusted friend's or neighbour's house.
• Keep a list of important phone numbers, including trusted adults, emergency services, and support services.
• If it's safe, pack a small bag with things you might need, like clothes, any medication, and other essentials. Keep it somewhere safe, such as at the home of someone you trust.
• Keep your phone nearby and charged so you can call for help if you need it.
• If adults are being violent towards each other, don't try to stop the violence yourself. Your priority is toget somewhere safe and ask for help.

Remember, you don't have to deal with this on your own. There are people who care about you and want to

help you stay safe and if you need help with a safety plan we are here to help you do that too.

Family and domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender or sexuality. It can happen in current or past dating or intimate relationships, as well as within families.

It can also occur in relationships where someone provides care or support to a person with a disability, medical condition, or an older person. This may include relationships involving family members, carers, supporters, or guardians.

Abuse is never the fault of the person experiencing it. Everyone has the right to feel safe, respected, and free to make their own choices.